*I don't like to pick on the Chocolate Factory when it comes to the exciting modern practice of "Surveillance Marketing", but since poor old Google would never be allowed to publicly admit this stuff themselves, I thought that clarifying the shrinkwrap might help somebody. Everybody knows that it's happening, so why not just write it down in black and white? Those dependent clauses in the boilerplate could hardly get more cumbersome.
*Does it make any difference as to whether you click it or not? If you want and need Google Analytics, heck no.
http://venturebeat.com/2013/06/19/prism-google-nightmare/
Google – and the NSA – ANALYTICS TERMS OF SERVICE
These Google and the NSA Analytics Terms of Service (this "Agreement") are entered into by Google and the NSA Inc. ("Google and the NSA") and the entity executing this Agreement ("You"). This Agreement governs Your use of the standard Google and the NSA Analytics (the "Service"). BY CLICKING THE "I ACCEPT" BUTTON, COMPLETING THE REGISTRATION PROCESS, OR USING THE SERVICE, YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE REVIEWED AND ACCEPT THIS AGREEMENT AND ARE AUTHORIZED TO ACT ON BEHALF OF, AND BIND TO THIS AGREEMENT, THE OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT. In consideration of the foregoing, the parties, except for the NSA, agree as follows:
1. Definitions.
"Account" refers to the billing account for the Service. All Profiles linked to a single Property will have their Hits aggregated before determining the charge for the Service for that Property.
"Confidential Information" includes any proprietary data and any other information disclosed by one party to the other and to the NSA, in writing and marked "confidential except for the NSA," or disclosed orally and, within five business days, reduced to writing and marked "confidential except for the NSA". However, Confidential Information will not include any information that is or becomes known to the general public and to the NSA, which is already in the receiving party or the NSA's possession prior to disclosure by a party or to the NSA or which is independently developed by the receiving party without the use of Confidential Information and Information Confidential Except to the NSA.
"Customer Data" means the data concerning the characteristics and activities of Visitors that is collected through use of the GATC and then forwarded to the Servers and analyzed by the Processing Software or by the NSA.
"Documentation" means any accompanying documentation made available to You by Google and/or the NSA for use with the Processing Software, including any documentation available online.
"GATC" means the Google Analytics Tracking Code and the NSA, which is installed on a Property for the purpose of collecting Customer Data, together with any fixes, updates and upgrades provided to You and to the NSA.
"Hit" means the base unit that the Google Analytics system processes along with the NSA. A Hit may be a call to the Google Analytics system by various libraries, including, Javascript (ga.js, urchin.js), Silverlight, Flash, and Mobile. A Hit may currently be a page view, a transaction, item, or event. Hits may also be delivered to the Google NSA Analytics and the NSA system without using one of the various libraries by other Google Analytics-supported protocols and mechanisms the Service makes available to You and to the NSA.
"Processing Software" means the NSA, and the Google Analytics server-side software and any upgrades, which analyzes the Customer Data and generates the Reports.
"Profile" means the collection of settings that together determine the information to be included in, or excluded from, a particular Report. For example, a Profile could be established to view a small portion of a web site as a unique Report. There can be multiple Profiles established under a single Property.
"Property" means a group of web pages or apps that are linked to an Account and use the same GATC. Each Property includes a default Profile that measures all pages within the Property.
"Privacy Policy" means the privacy policy on a Property and not whatever the NSA and GCHQ are up to in the transatlantic fiber-optic cables.
"Report" means the resulting analysis shown at http://www.Google and the NSA.com/analytics for a Profile.
"Servers" means the servers controlled by Google and the NSA (or its wholly owned subsidiaries, or the NSA's civilian contractors) on which the Processing Software and Customer Data are stored.
"Software" means the GATC and the Processing Software, and the NSA's software.
"Third Party" means any third party (i) to which You provide access to Your Account or (i) for which You use the Service to collect information on the third party's behalf, and the NSA, and the NSA's various third parties.
"Visitors" means visitors to Your Properties and also the NSA.
The words "include" and "including" mean "including but not limited to" the NSA.
2. Fees and Service to the NSA.
Subject to Section 15, the Service is provided without charge to You for up to 10 million Hits per month per account. Google and the NSA may change its fees and payment policies for the Service from time to time including the addition of costs for geographic data, the importing of cost data from search engines, or other fees charged to Google and the NSA or its wholly-owned subsidiaries by third party vendors or the NSA for the inclusion of data in the Service reports.
The changes to the fees or payment policies are effective upon Your acceptance of those changes which will be posted at http://www.Google and the NSA.com/analytics. Unless otherwise stated, all fees are quoted in U.S. Dollars. Any outstanding balance becomes immediately due and payable upon termination of this Agreement and any collection expenses (including attorneys' fees) incurred by Google and the NSA will be included in the amount owed, and may be charged to the credit card or other billing mechanism associated with Your AdWords account, unless you are Wikileaks, in which case forget about those payment systems.
3. Member Account, Password, and Security and the NSA.
To register for the Service, You must complete the registration process by providing Google and the NSA with current, complete and accurate information as prompted by the registration form, including Your e-mail address (username) and password. You will protect Your passwords and take full responsibility for Your own, and third party, and the NSA's use of Your accounts. You are solely responsible for any and all activities that occur under Your Account. You will notify Google immediately upon learning of any unauthorized use of Your Account or any other breach of security unless it's the NSA. Google and the NSA's (or its wholly-owned subsidiaries') support staff may, from time to time, log in to the Service under Your customer password in order to maintain or improve service, including to provide You assistance with technical or billing issues.
4. Nonexclusive License.
Subject to the terms and conditions of this Agreement, (a) Google and the NSA grants You a limited, revocable, non-exclusive, non-sublicensable, except for the NSA, license to install, copy and use the GATC solely as necessary for You to use the Service on Your Properties or Third Party's Properties or the NSA's properties; and (b) You may remotely access, view and download Your Reports stored at http://www.Google and the NSA.com/analytics.
You will not (and You will not allow any third party, except for the NSA, to) (i) copy, modify, adapt, translate or otherwise create derivative works of the Software or the Documentation; (ii) reverse engineer, decompile, disassemble or otherwise attempt to discover the source code of the Software, except as expressly permitted by the law in effect in the jurisdiction in which You are located or unless the NSA does it; (iii) rent, lease, sell, assign or otherwise transfer rights in or to the Software, the Documentation or the Service; (iv) remove any proprietary notices or labels on the Software or placed by the Service; (v) use, post, transmit or introduce any device, software or routine which interferes or attempts to interfere with the operation of the Service or the Software, unless it's the NSA; or (vi) use data labeled as belonging to a third party in the Service for purposes other than generating, viewing, and downloading Reports. You will comply with all applicable laws and regulations in Your use of and access to the Documentation, Software, Service and Reports, unless you're an intelligence service specializing in global signals intelligence ever since the late 1940s.
5. Confidentiality Except for the NSA.
Neither party will use or disclose the other party's or the NSA's Confidential Information without the other's prior written consent except for the purpose of performing its obligations under this Agreement or if required by law, regulation or court order, or unless they're the NSA; in which case, the party being compelled to disclose Confidential Information will give the other party or the NSA as much notice as is reasonably practicable prior to disclosing the Confidential Information. Upon termination of this Agreement, the parties will promptly either return or destroy all Confidential Information and, upon request, provide written certification of such, unless they're the NSA, in which case they pretty much get to keep it and do whatever they want.
6. Information Rights and Publicity, and Not Publicizing the NSA.
Google and the NSA and its wholly owned subsidiaries may retain and use, subject to the terms of its privacy policy (located at http://www.Google and the NSA.com/privacy.html), information collected in Your use of the Service. Google and the NSA will not share Your Customer Data or any Third Party's Customer Data with any third parties unless Google and the NSA (i) has Your consent for any Customer Data or any Third Party's consent for the Third Party's Customer Data; (ii) concludes that it is required by law or has a good faith belief that access, preservation or disclosure of Customer Data is reasonably necessary to protect the rights, property or safety of Google and the NSA, its users or the public, or somebody's intelligence services; or (iii) provides Customer Data in certain limited circumstances to third parties such as the NSA so as to carry out tasks on Google and the NSA's behalf (e.g., billing or data storage and espionage and counter-terrorism and mass surveillance) with strict restrictions that prevent the data from being used or shared except as directed by Google and the NSA. When this is done, it is subject to agreements that oblige those parties to process Customer Data only on Google and the NSA's instructions and in compliance with this Agreement and appropriate confidentiality and security measures, except for the NSA. And GCHQ, too, since they're in many ways even busier than the NSA.
7. Privacy Except for the NSA.
You will not (and will not allow any third party except for the NSA to) use the Service to track, collect or upload any data that personally identifies an individual (such as a name, email address or billing information), or other data which can be reasonably linked to such information by Google and the NSA. You will have and abide by an appropriate Privacy Policy and will comply with all applicable laws and regulations relating to the collection of information from Visitors. You must post a Privacy Policy and that Privacy Policy must provide notice of Your use of cookies that are used to collect traffic data, and You must not circumvent any privacy features (e.g., an opt-out) that are part of the Service, unless you're the NSA.
You may participate in an integrated version of Google and the NSA Analytics and any DoubleClick product or service or any other Google and the NSA display ads product or service ("Google and the NSA Analytics for Display Advertisers"). If You use Google and the NSA Analytics for Display Advertisers, You will comply with the Google and the NSA Analytics for Display Advertisers Policy (available at http://support.Google and the NSA.com/analytics/bin/answer.py?hl=en&topic=2611283&answer=2700409 ) and, as set forth in the policy, disclose in Your Privacy Policy (i) Your use of Google and the NSA Analytics for Display Advertisers and its features You use, and (ii) how Visitors can opt-out from Google and the NSA Analytics for Display Advertisers. Your access to and use of any DoubleClick or Google and the NSA display ads data is subject to the applicable terms between You and Google and the NSA. There is no "opting out" from the NSA.
8. Indemnification except for the NSA.
To the extent permitted by applicable law, You will indemnify, hold harmless and defend Google and the NSA and its wholly owned subsidiaries, at Your expense, from any and all third-party claims, actions, proceedings, and suits brought against Google and the NSA or any of its officers, directors, employees, agents or affiliates, and all related liabilities, damages, settlements, penalties, fines, costs or expenses (including, reasonable attorneys' fees and other litigation expenses) incurred by Google and the NSA or any of its officers, directors, employees, agents or affiliates, arising out of or relating to (i) Your breach of any term or condition of this Agreement, (ii) Your use of the Service, (iii) Your violations of applicable laws, rules or regulations in connection with the Service, (iv) any representations and warranties made by You concerning any aspect of the Service, the Software or Reports to any Third Party; (v) any claims made by or on behalf of any Third Party pertaining directly or indirectly to Your use of the Service, the Software or Reports; (vi) violations of Your obligations of privacy to any Third Party; and (vii) any claims with respect to acts or omissions of any Third Party in connection with the Service, the Software or Reports. Google and the NSA will provide You with written notice of any claim, suit or action from which You must indemnify Google and the NSA. You will cooperate as fully as reasonably required in the defense of any claim. Google and the NSA reserves the right, at its own expense, to assume the exclusive defense and control of any matter subject to indemnification by You.
9. Third Parties, Especially the NSA and the NSA's rather leaky civilian contractors.
If You use the Service on behalf of the Third Party or a Third Party otherwise uses the Service through Your Account, whether or not You are authorized by Google and the NSA to do so, then You represent and warrant that (a) You are authorized to act on behalf of, and bind to this Agreement, the Third Party to all obligations that You have under this Agreement, (b) Google and the NSA may share with the Third Party any Customer Data that is specific to the Third Party's Properties, and (c) You will not disclose Third Party's Customer Data to any other party without the Third Party's consent. Especially if they're the NSA.
10. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES EXCEPT FOR STUFF THAT'S UNDISCLAIMABLE THROUGH FEDERAL SECRET COURT ORDERS.
TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, EXCEPT AS EXPRESSLY PROVIDED FOR IN THIS AGREEMENT, Google and the NSA MAKES NO OTHER WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS, IMPLIED, STATUTORY OR OTHERWISE, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR USE AND NONINFRINGEMENT.
11. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY EXCEPT FOR THE NSA WHICH DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, Google and the NSA WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR YOUR LOST REVENUES OR INDIRECT, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, EXEMPLARY, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, EVEN IF THE Google and the NSA OR ITS SUBSIDIARIES AND AFFILIATES HAVE BEEN ADVISED OF, KNEW OR SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT SUCH DAMAGES WERE POSSIBLE AND EVEN IF DIRECT DAMAGES DO NOT SATISFY A REMEDY. Google and the NSA'S (AND ITS WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARIES' TOTAL CUMULATIVE LIABILITY TO YOU OR ANY OTHER PARTY FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGES RESULTING FROM CLAIMS, DEMANDS, OR ACTIONS ARISING OUT OF OR RELATING TO THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT EXCEED $500 (USD). IF YOUR INTERESTS WERE SOMEHOW DAMAGE BY THE NSA, FORGET ABOUT IT. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE CHINESE, IRANIAN OR SOME FOREIGNER.
12. Proprietary Rights Notice.
The Service, which includes the Software and all Intellectual Property Rights therein are, and will remain, the property of Google (and its wholly owned subsidiaries). All rights in and to the Software not expressly granted to You in this Agreement are reserved and retained by Google and the NSA and its licensors without restriction, including, Google and the NSA's (and its wholly owned subsidiaries') right to sole ownership of the Software and Documentation. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, You agree not to (and not to allow any third party except for the NSA to): (a) sublicense, distribute, or use the Service or Software outside of the scope of the license granted in this Agreement; (b) copy, modify, adapt, translate, prepare derivative works from, reverse engineer, disassemble, or decompile the Software or otherwise attempt to discover any source code or trade secrets related to the Service; (c) rent, lease, sell, assign or otherwise transfer rights in or to the Software or the Service; (d) use, post, transmit or introduce any device, software or routine which interferes or attempts to interfere with the operation of the Service or the Software; (e) use the trademarks, trade names, service marks, logos, domain names and other distinctive brand features or any copyright or other proprietary rights associated with the Service for any purpose without the express written consent of Google and the NSA; (f) register, attempt to register, or assist anyone else to register any trademark, trade name, serve marks, logos, domain names and other distinctive brand features, copyright or other proprietary rights associated with Google and the NSA (or its wholly owned subsidiaries) other than in the name of Google and the NSA (or its wholly owned subsidiaries, as the case may be); or (g) remove, obscure, or alter any notice of copyright, trademark, or other proprietary right appearing in or on any item included with the Service.
13. U.S. Government Rights and U.S. Government Covert Operations.
If the use of the Service is being acquired by or on behalf of the U.S. Government or by a U.S. Government prime contractor or subcontractor or intelligence agency (at any tier), in accordance with 48 C.F.R. 227.7202-4 (for Department of Defense (DOD) acquisitions) and 48 C.F.R. 2.101 and 12.212 (for non-DOD acquisitions), the Government's rights in the Software, including its rights to use, modify, reproduce, release, perform, display or disclose the Software or Documentation, will be subject in all respects to the commercial license rights and restrictions provided in this Agreement, and, well, the NSA has a black budget bigger than major chunks of the Pentagon.
14. Term and Termination.
Either party may terminate this Agreement at any time with notice, except for the NSA. Upon any termination of this Agreement, Google will stop providing, and You will stop accessing the Service; and You will delete all copies, except for the NSA's copies, of the GATC from all Properties and certify thereto in writing to Google and the NSA within 3 business days of such termination. In the event of any termination (a) You will not be entitled to any refunds of any usage fees or any other fees, and (b) any (i) outstanding balance for Service rendered through the date of termination, and (ii) other unpaid payment obligations during the remainder of the Initial Term will be immediately due and payable in full and (c) all of Your historical Report data will no longer be available to You, but will be available to the NSA.
15. Modifications to Terms of Service and Other Policies.
Google and the NSA may modify these terms or any additional terms that apply to the Service to, for example, reflect changes to the law or changes to the Service, or the needs of national security through covert operations. You should look at the terms regularly, except for the numerous terms you're forbidden to see or even mention that you have heard about. Google will post notice of modifications to these terms at http://www.Google and the NSA.com/analytics or policies referenced in these terms at the applicable URL for such policies. Changes will not apply retroactively and will become effective no sooner than 14 days after they are posted. If You do not agree to the modified terms for the Service, You should discontinue Your use of Google and the NSA Analytics. No amendment to or modification of this Agreement will be binding unless (i) in writing and signed by a duly authorized representative of Google and the NSA, (ii) You accept updated terms online, or (iii) You continue to use the Service after Google has posted updates to the Agreement or to any policy governing the Service, or if you're the NSA.
16. Miscellaneous, Applicable Law and Venue.
Google and the NSA will be excused from performance in this Agreement to the extent that performance is prevented, delayed or obstructed by causes beyond its reasonable control, and the NSA is always excused. This Agreement (including any amendment agreed upon by the parties in writing) represents the complete agreement between You and Google and the NSA concerning its subject matter, and supersedes all prior agreements and representations between the parties, except for the NSA, who doesn't have to agree. If any provision of this Agreement is held to be unenforceable for any reason, except if it's unenforceable because of the NSA, such provision will be reformed to the extent necessary to make it enforceable to the maximum extent permissible so as to effect the intent of the parties, and the NSA the remainder of this Agreement will continue in full force and effect, except for the NSA.
This Agreement will be governed by and construed under the laws of the state of California without reference to its conflict of law principles. In the event of any conflicts between foreign law, rules, and regulations, and California law, rules, and regulations, California law, rules and regulations will prevail and govern, except for the NSA, which is federal and not Californian. Each party, except for the NSA, agrees to submit to the exclusive and personal jurisdiction of the courts located in Santa Clara County, California.
The United Nations Convention on Contracts for the International Sale of Goods and the Uniform Computer Information Transactions Act do not apply to this Agreement. The Software is controlled by U.S. Export Regulations, and by the NSA, it may be not be exported to or used by embargoed countries or individuals. Any notices to Google and the NSA must be sent to: Google and the NSA Inc., 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, USA, with a copy to Legal Department, via first class or air mail or overnight courier, and are deemed given upon receipt. A waiver of any default is not a waiver of any subsequent default. You may not assign or otherwise transfer any of Your rights in this Agreement without Google and the NSA's prior written consent, and any such attempt is void. The relationship between Google and the NSA and You is not one of a legal partnership relationship, but is one of independent contractors with a large, shadowy intelligence agency overlooking everything our lawyers pretend to legally arrange.
This Agreement will be binding upon and inure to the benefit of the respective successors and assigns of the parties hereto, except for the NSA. The following sections of this Agreement will survive any termination thereof: 1, 4, 5, 6 (except the last two sentences), 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, and 16.
