I've made fun of replica swords many times in this space, but I want to assure readers that it's only because the collectible weapons are dumb and stupid. However, I have to admit that I, too, feel the geekish drive to hang a drop-forged piece of metal from the wall. I think it's some sort of genetic thing, a throwback to the days when the survival of one's tribe depended on the ability to justify ridiculous purchases.
However, I think I've found a solution to my conflict. My friend Gary, who is a volunteer emergency medical technician, informed me of the existence of a wonderful thing called a Halligan bar.
If you're a firefighter, or someone who works with firefighters, or someone who lives with one or more firefighters, or someone who makes, markets or sells equipment for firefighters, or someone who has traveled forward in time to read my columns, you probably already know about Halligan bars.
A Halligan bar is a single-piece metal tool designed explicitly and brilliantly for totally busting stuff up in the name of rescue. As I understand it, it's the standard tool for an astonishing number of fire departments, because it's awesome at what it does.
Here's why I feel more comfortable with the idea of having a Halligan on my wall than, say, showing off a Glamdring replica or a bat'leth.
First off, a Halligan is not a replica of anything. It is entirely the thing it is, designed to do what it does. There is nothing ceremonial or decorative about this tool. You can tell that it seriously resents locked doors and wants them to die....
