NSA: We are Powerless!

The National Security Agency – the super secret eavesdropping arm of the military charged with keeping tabs on the communications of the nation's enemies, allies and for the last four years, American citizens – is facing a power crunch, according to the Baltimore Sun's Siobhan Gorman.

The demand for electricity to operate its expanding intelligence systems has left the high-tech eavesdropping agency on the verge of exceeding its power supply, the lifeblood of its sprawling 350-acre Fort Meade headquarters, according to current and former intelligence officials.

Agency officials anticipated the problem nearly a decade ago as they looked ahead at the technology needs of the agency, sources said, but it was never made a priority, and now the agency's ability to keep its operations going is threatened. The NSA is already unable to install some costly and sophisticated new equipment, including two new supercomputers, for fear of blowing out the electrical infrastructure, they said.

Link.

In response, the NSA is quietly sending pleas to its targets via pre-recorded phone calls, text messages and its super-secret microwave "power of suggestion" feature to voluntarily reduce their volume of communications. (You can activate this at home by pressing the "defrost" button.)

They also asked people to:

• Turn off any encryption, at least until September brings cooler weather to the East Coast.
• Make overseas calls at non-peak hours.
• Directly CC: [email protected] for only the most essential terrorist plotting emails
• Try to avoid, in conversation or written communications, any non-relevant uses of the phrases 'jihad,' 'pipe bomb' and 'this country is run by incompetent, ideological nincompoops'

The note closes with my favorite of their slogans: "Help the NSA Help You."

Please do your part – Remember we are all in this together.

Photo: Rambla